Sunday, 30 December 2007

Annum Faustum!!

I have been tagged by Trixy (thaaaaaank you!) to identify 8 things that I want to happen in 2008. Well, I will restrict my list to things that are capable of publication without a) getting me sacked or b) ruining my reputation. Please desist from sniggering at the back.

What I want to happen in 2008:

1. I win the lottery and am able to purchase property in those part of the South East where properties go for their weight in diamonds;

2. I am finally able to put pay to the use of any drug that involves inhaling;

3. Colin Firth wakes up and realises that I am the woman of his dreams;

4. I miraculously acquire at least 6 inches without the use of heels. Preferably in the leg area;

5. The government forthwith passes legislation that abolishes 'celebs', and outlaws publications such as The Sun and The Daily Mail upon which such parasites feast;

6. Jo Brand becomes Prime Minster. Victoria Wood, Catherine Tate and Dawn French become respectively Deputy PM, Home Sec and Chancellor. Anne Widdecombe is put out to pasture;

7. I am able to give effect to my secret 'hit list' whereby those that contaminate our viewing pleasure with their dead pan performances are 'taken out'* for good (Hugh Grant, Kiera Knightley and others of their ilk. You know who you are.);

8. This Week is scheduled to go out a little earlier (for those of us who have proper jobs...).

Ha! I could go on and on until the world is sorted out and I am finally recognised as the genius I am. Instead however, I will tag my co-author AD, Charon, and Nearly Legal.

Happy New Year!


*By which, of course, I mean 'taken out' of any type of work that involves an audience until said individuals acquire something akin to a personality.

3 comments:

Trixy said...

I like The Sun and the Mail. Well, no. I like some of the journos who write for it...

advocatus diaboli said...

I rather like Widders :-(

Nearly Legal said...

Oh joy, a meme, thanks.

Tomorrow, perhaps.