I stumbled across this last week and thought it might amuse, especially if you have ever been involved in a trial where the bundles were prepared by a complete muppet...
Sedley J's Laws of Documents
FIRST LAW
Documents may be assembled in any order, provided it is not chronological, numerical or alphabetical.
SECOND LAW
Documents shall in no circumstances be paginated continuously.
THIRD LAW
No two copies of any bundle shall have the same pagination.
FOURTH LAW
Every document shall carry at least three numbers in different places.
FIFTH LAW
Any important documents shall be omitted.
SIXTH LAW
At least 10 per cent of the documents shall appear more than once in the bundle.
SEVENTH LAW
As many photocopies as practicable shall be illegible, truncated or cropped.
EIGHTH LAW
(a) At least 80 per cent of the documents shall be irrelevant.
(b) Counsel shall refer in court to no more than 10 per cent of the documents, but these may include as many irrelevant ones as counsel or solicitor deems appropriate.
NINTH LAW
Only one side of any double-sided document shall be reproduced.
TENTH LAW
Transcriptions of manuscript documents shall bear as little relation as reasonably practicable to the original.
ELEVENTH LAW
Documents shall be held together, in the absolute discretion of the solicitor assembling them, by:
(a) a steel pin sharp enough to injure the reader;
(b) a staple too short to penetrate the full thickness of the bundle;
(c) tape binding so stitched that the bundle cannot be fully opened; or
(d) a ring or arch binder so damaged that the two arcs do not meet.
FIRST LAW
Documents may be assembled in any order, provided it is not chronological, numerical or alphabetical.
SECOND LAW
Documents shall in no circumstances be paginated continuously.
THIRD LAW
No two copies of any bundle shall have the same pagination.
FOURTH LAW
Every document shall carry at least three numbers in different places.
FIFTH LAW
Any important documents shall be omitted.
SIXTH LAW
At least 10 per cent of the documents shall appear more than once in the bundle.
SEVENTH LAW
As many photocopies as practicable shall be illegible, truncated or cropped.
EIGHTH LAW
(a) At least 80 per cent of the documents shall be irrelevant.
(b) Counsel shall refer in court to no more than 10 per cent of the documents, but these may include as many irrelevant ones as counsel or solicitor deems appropriate.
NINTH LAW
Only one side of any double-sided document shall be reproduced.
TENTH LAW
Transcriptions of manuscript documents shall bear as little relation as reasonably practicable to the original.
ELEVENTH LAW
Documents shall be held together, in the absolute discretion of the solicitor assembling them, by:
(a) a steel pin sharp enough to injure the reader;
(b) a staple too short to penetrate the full thickness of the bundle;
(c) tape binding so stitched that the bundle cannot be fully opened; or
(d) a ring or arch binder so damaged that the two arcs do not meet.
3 annotatio:
Thanks for this AD - I'd been searxhing the ether for it to no avail -it was presented in a hugely entertaining manner at the Cumberland Lodge Study w/e; couldnt stop laughing for AGES!! :)
Glad to have been of service! AD :-)
This is very amusing! Glad to know that other people understand the pain of a badly prepared bundle...
LL
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